Had to go full blown MacGyver on my hooptie ride. |
I was the company bitch! You know, that guy who does all the shitty work. A typical day would consist of spilling dirt on my face as I drill holes, a sore back from bending conduit and digging, contorting my body so that I can can fit in crawl spaces and inflamed wrist from splicing and hammering all day.
Work became that thing through which we make money so that we could do the other things we really wanted to do - Dorothy Sayers (1)
This job was killing me, but my tenacious no questions ask attitude secured my employment for 11 years. Along with those 11 yrs I had a membership card to the emergency room, which far out weigh the benefits of OBAMACARE. It would get punched out at every visit and the 10th visit was free. I entered this job under the impression that electrician work was going to be simple. Duh,black to black and white to white, boy was I wrong.
I was getting my ass kicked! After work I would hop on the subway and head towards the gym. Tired from a long day and the dreaded NYC rush hour subway commute, I had enough! My health and well being were on the line. "For what?" I would ask myself. "What am I getting out of this besides a weekly paycheck?" This job was consuming more than just my health, it was consuming my life.
Letting go.
The week before I gave my boss notice I felt extremely uncertain but at the same time had a slight hint of optimism. It was a scary thought to lose 11 years worth of pay rate, health insurance and other securities, but the thought of success and the "no regrets" "YOLO" attitude slightly surpassed the negative anticipations. I tried to take a calculated risk by letting all the negative thoughts brew in my head.
- What if I can't get a job when I get back from Thailand?
- Do I have enough money saved up?
- How am I going to make money in Thailand?
- No insurance, what if I get injured?
- What if I lose all my fights?
- How am I going to start over when I get back to the US?
I still have no answer to these questions. I do know that the same dedication I applied to my former company will transfer over to any field of work I choose to do in the future. I do know that my risk to benefit ratio will be rewarding as long as I'm doing something I love. The only way to assure myself is to live in the now and not worry about unsolved questions. There is no failure, only feed back. So long as I assert myself to any situations and give it my all.
Reference
1- Why we work
Reference
1- Why we work